"Why" is important
A few weeks ago I abandoned my Brisbane to Sydney ride. I made an alternative holiday, flying to Cairns, exploring and riding to Townsville, and flying home from there.
At the time I was feeling highly anxious, and I thought it was all because of Covid lockdowns and possible border closures. While there is cause for concern, I later realised that my anxiety was heightened for other reasons - I had some family stuff going on - and once it had been resolved, I really regretted the holiday change. So much so, that I started to feel a little depressed that I wasn't following through with my original plan.
I have spent the past 12+ months planning and preparing for the ride from Brisbane to Sydney. It's important to me for so many reasons. This ride is all about me. I have something to prove to myself. I will have to rely on myself; my own body and mind, completely. I will be pushing myself forward, cheering myself on, telling myself I can do this. I believe it will be an extremely empowering experience. I want that. I want to feel confident. I want to feel capable. I want to believe in myself. Never did I dream I could achieve something like this until I quit smoking.
What did I do?
I cancelled my flights and accommodation. I'm going to ride south (towards Sydney). If I don't make it all the way to Sydney because of Covid outbreaks, that's ok, but I need to try.